Up All Night- The Growing Prysocks

We need to talk about honey badgers. I mentioned them in a list on Day Five, but a passing mention will not suffice, so I am revisiting.

If you watched that video, you will see a honey badger go up against a monitor lizard. A monitor lizard. That's basically mini-dinosaur. And the honey badger EATS THE MINI-DINOSAUR'S HEAD.

So for those of you who didn't watch the video, or if you just want to hear my description of the honey badger, I will now attempt to put into words what exactly this monstrosity of an animal is. A honey badger is basically a mix of a skunk, a ferret, a velociraptor, a bear, and PURE EVIL.

Now watch this video.

The honey badger is so named because it eats honey, right? Well that's true, but as you see in this video, the honey badger breaks into a hive of bee, BEES mind you, and goes for the LARVA. It's not just satisfied with the bee's bodily by-product, it eats the BABY BEES. Do you know what that's like? This is what it's like. The honey badger wakes up in the morning and gets a bowl of cereal, but milk isn't good enough! The honey badger says, "I don't want just milk in my cereal, I want RAW VEAL in my cereal." That's what it's like. That's how evil and hardcore the honey badger is.

Everyone knows that snakes are evil. As Bill Engvall says, "They can move, but they ain't got no legs. That's not right." Well if snakes are evil, then what about the animal that EATS SNAKES?? In the later part of that video, the honey badger STEALS FOOD FROM A SNAKE. It just walks up and jacks a fresh kill right from in front of the snake's mouth. The nerve! The snake is all mad and says, "Say fool, that's my dinner!" And the honey badger says, "Shut up, snake or I will bite your face!" So when the honey badger is done eating the snake's meal IN FRONT OF the snake, it goes over and EATS THE SNAKE'S HEAD! Just eats it's head!

But that's not all!

The snake did get in a lucky hit, so now the honey badger is poisoned. No big deal, the honey badger just takes a quick nap. It was pretty full from eating the stolen meal and the snake head anyway. The honey badger wakes up and thanks its lucky stars for barely surviving that snake venom and decides to cut its losses and run off to safety, thankful just to be alive.

NO!

The honey badger wakes up and thinks, "Man, that was a nice little rest, but I'm still hungry." And then it EATS THE REST OF THE SNAKE before continuing its relentless reign of terror across Africa.

The bottom line is that YOU DO NOT CROSS A HONEY BADGER OR IT WILL BITE OFF YOUR FRIGGIN FACE AND END YOU!!!!

I will leave you with this video, which sets various honey badger footage to an Offspring song. Watch, enjoy, and good luck sleeping tonight!

Emo "missing you" song of the day, whose lyrics don't all apply: "If You're Gone" by Matchbox Twenty because my wife is gone and she does need to come home

P.S. I would like to thank MUTEMATH for pointing out this overlooked threat on their Facebook page earlier in the week.