Last night I had a mini movie marathon. To be more specific, it was a "Descriptively and Obviously Titled" mini movie marathon. What do I mean by "Descriptively and Obviously Titled"? Well let me explain by breaking down the two movies in the mini-marathon.
1. Midnight Meat Train
A. Midnight- the majority of the events in this movie takes place at or after midnight
B. Meat- the story centers around a man who's a butcher by day that butchers people
C. Train- the butchering is done on a subway train
2. Snakes on a Plane
A. Snakes- there are lots of snakes
B. Plane- they are on a plane
Descriptively and obviously titled FTW!
So let me start with my review of Midnight Meat Train. As I've said before, when it comes to horror movies, I tend to stay away from the gory slasher films. This movie is DEFINITELY in that category as it is very graphic and probably difficult for most to stomach. I distracted myself with something else during most of the "meat" scenes. If you are inclined to watch this movie, be warned that it's intense.
This movie surprised me, it was actually pretty good. I was expecting something much lower in quality and poorly made. When I first saw the trailer, it was laughable. It ended with the announcer saying in his most deep, emphatic, over-dramatic voice:
MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN
I mean the title itself screams campy B-movie, but there were actually good performances and an interesting plot- and it even ended in a twist! It stars Bradley Cooper as a professional artist/photographer. You may remember him from such films as Wedding Crashers. He's the guy who says "Crab cakes and football, that's what Maryland does!" And it also has Sphinx, the dude that doesn't talk much, from Gone in 60 Seconds.
So Bradley Cooper is photographing New York to further his art career and he ends up following and photographing this creepy guy whom he also suspects of murder. He could just take the incriminating photos to the cops, like his girlfriend suggests, but nooooooo. He gets all obsessive like and craziness ensues from there. "Stalk psychotic murderers, that's what Bradley Cooper does!" So, I recommend this movie, if you can handle the blood and gore.
And now Snakes On A Plane.
This movie was pretty much as silly and ridiculous as you think. But if that's what you were expecting, nay even hoping for, then you will not be disappointed. One might be inclined to think that the plot is so utterly preposterous and unrealistic that's it's laughable. Well, the movie is laughable, but the circumstances aren't entirely unimaginable. In fact, a major holiday revolves around a very similar historical event.
I suspect that St. Patrick didn't use quite as many f-bombs as Sam Jackson did.Yes, it was St. Patrick who finally had enough nonsense and kicked all the snakes out of Ireland. This movie is practically historical! Except, Ireland is an airplane and St. Patrick is Samuel L. Jackson.
It has all the typical horror movie elements. People start off getting surprised and killed in crazy ways, and gradually the entire situation erupts into chaos. Then they concoct some wildly dangerous scheme to save themselves and it magically works. Then everyone hooks up at the end. (Because surviving a disaster is a way better means of finding a mate than going to a bar.)
Oh, and this movie also has the guy who plays Tim Riggins on Friday Night Lights. But don't see it for that, he's not in it very long.
Song of the day: Glamorous Indie Rock & Roll by The Killers (how do these random songs get into my head?)
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