Up All Night- The Growing Prysocks

Today I present a special food review. I will be indulging in my morbid curiosity and trying the Double Down from KFC. Note that I'm not judging or criticizing, since I have been prone to making crazy concoctions myself.

Let's start with their marketing statement for this amazing new product:

"The new KFC Double Down sandwich is real! This one-of-a-kind sandwich features two thick and juicy boneless white meat chicken filets (Original Recipe® or Grilled), two pieces of bacon, two melted slices of Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese and Colonel's Sauce. This product is so meaty, there’s no room for a bun!"

Ok so that's honest, gotta respect them for that. I like how they start by stating that is in fact real, as if it's too insane to believe someone would actually make this. This really is the kind of thing you would see in a commercial parody on SNL. You know, like this:

So let's take a look at what it's supposed to look like:

What I'm wondering is how the meeting went down that resulted in this monstrosity. This is a reenactment of what I imagined the meeting went like.

The participants:
Tom Richmond- research and development team leader
Jim Johnson- bright-eyed idealist with plenty of ideas, also kind of a suck up
Bob Daniels- cynical, dry, and sarcastic marketing veteran who really doesn't want to be there

Richmond- "Ok team, we've gotta come up with something new."

Johnson- "How 'bout we use leftover chicken pieces, throw on some sauce and put it on a bun."

Richmond- "Johnson! We already did that, it's called a Honey BBQ Sandwich"

Johnson- "Oh. Right. Well how 'bout we combine a bunch of sides together, add some chicken nuggets and call it a meal."

Richmond- "Johnson! That's called a KFC Famous Bowl! We've got to do better than this people! And remember out new slogan- unthink."

Daniels- "Why don't we just make up another sandwich and fry it."

Richmond- "What, like a monte cristo? You're a genius Daniels! We already fry everything else so it'll be easy! So what should be on this sandwich?"

Johnson- "Cheese! It should have cheese!"

Richmond- "Ok....what else?"

Johnson- "Some kind of sauce....we'll call it Colonel's Sauce!"

Richmond- "Not extremely creative, but it'll work. What kind of bread? We gotta have a special kind of bread."

Daniels- "Why not just skip the bread altogether and use chicken breasts..."

Johnson- "That's ludicrous, just use buns! We already have those on hand."

Richmond- "No, Johnson! Think outside the bun!"

Daniels- "That's Taco Bell...."

Richmond- "Right. Well still, the chicken-as-bun idea is absolutely brilliant! Let's go with that. What else are we gonna bring to the party?"

Johnson- "Mashed potatoes!"

Richmond- "Johnson that's silly! It would be far too messy. It's already gonna be hard enough to hold a sandwich made of fried chicken."

Daniels- ".....why not just throw some bacon on there."

Richmond- "Daniels......this is why we pay you the big bucks. Johnson! Get this man a croissant!.....with bacon!"

Johnson- "Ok...but sir what are we gonna call the new sandwich? I know! How 'bout 'The Meat Stack.'"

Richmond- "Hmmm......that's good, but it's a bit obvious. Remember, Johnson, unthink."

Daniels- "Well you'd have to be insane, careless, or prone to gambling and taking bets to eat this thing regularly. Let's call it the Crazy Sandwich."

Richmond- "I like it, it's edgy. But PR would never go for it. I like the betting idea though."

Johnson- "How bout 'The Gambler.' No no, 'The Big Blind.'"

Richmond- "That rubbish Johnson! How about...The Double Down."

Johnson- "That's genius, boss!"

Richmond- "Shut up Johnson. Now get the man his bacon croissant."


That's a true story.

After tasting the Double Down, I have to admit that it wasn't all that bad. Granted, it's not a healthy meal, but at least it was filling. It was cheesy, a little spicy, and (of course) very meaty. I recommend it, if you're curious and feeling adventurous.

Song of the day: "More Than a Feeling" by Boston